Sunday, 9 December 2012

Reasons for the loss.

I, the other day( dont ask me which), overheard Dhoni speaking on cricket to his wife , which most of us would have to assume, is possible in this age of 'Nothing is Impossible'! Ever heard of psychic telepathy (whatever that means)? That helped my cause.


Coming back to the crux, the conversation flowed like this:

Dhoni : In general, if we had batted well, bowled well, and fielded well( read Zaheer), we would'nt have lost
            the match by such a huge margin, and by the way the loss was imminent because of the presence of
            Sachin amidst us.

Wife :   Do you like my cooking?

Dhoni : Your cooking is good on the eyes and also the very absence of Munaf in the team ensured us the
            ignominy of losing the match by a even huge margin!

Wife :   Good on the eyes? On the lips?

Dhoni:  Yes of course I had a prayer on my lips when I padded up. I must have invoked the wrong God
            because of which I struggled against the turning ball(not the cricket ball!). Hence, I have to formulate
            a prayer to invoke Balathirupurasundari and before that I have to create a God with that name.
            Know the motions?

Wife :  Excuse me but have the media reports confused on what you should be doing on-field and off-field?

Dhoni: That brings me back to what I should be doing on-field and off-field. On-field, whisper sweet
           nothings to Zaheer which he follows to the T by doing nothing and off-field explain what I whispered
           to the BCCI which enhances their knowledge on taking the all-important decision of his axing. Thank
          God that has happened. Now I need to re-think my strategies without my spearhead spearheading
          the attack that never attacks.                  

     The wife gets exasperated on his rantings about a consistently non-performing team which Dhoni defends
     by saying 'Consistency is the key'. The door which that key unlocks is still a mystery to the 'experts'.

  P.S : Sourav showed us how to win abroad, Dhoni is showing us how to lose at home. 

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